**
I lost a child. My uterus contracted in the middle of taking food orders from a group of middle-aged women. They all smiled sweetly while popping one-dollar bills into my Halloween themed Count Dracula tip jar. My body was attacking itself, the crotch of my pants slowly being saturated with dark blood. A stabbing pain and then a pull like a hook attached to the string of my unwanted pregnancy.
I grimaced, smiled softly, “Thanks, ladies. Have a wonderful
day.” I wondered, then, if any of them had ever lost a child and if they could
read it on my face. I could feel my skin losing its color. My body began to
feel light. If they knew, would they have tipped me more?
I walked home after cleaning up my mess of blood and apathy.
With the gift of a muscle relaxer hidden in my sleeve pocket I felt lost. I walked
these streets every day and suddenly had no idea where I was.
Home, I took my pill. I filled the bath with Epsom salts and
my own hot tears.
My uterus contracted again as I submerged my naked body into
the steam.
“Intention is everything, baby girl. Everything will be
okay. I love you.”
I lowered my body until the water covered my hears. Bonnie’s
voice was there, as I knew it would be. “Just let go.” I smiled, and as my body
released the last of its broken insides, I relaxed. The muscle relaxer had
finally set in.
No comments:
Post a Comment